So - after a conspiciously long absence from this blog and inspired by my favourite NYC blogger metrodad http://metrodad.typepad.com/index/ I decided that I should write more - even if no one reads it except me - at least I find myself funny.
But why is it so difficult to think of what to write in a blog - at work I sit in a very quiet area and constantly think of things to say (which is no doubt very annoying for those around me) but when I deliberately try and think of something amusing to write about, I am lost for words...
So instead today - I am going to write about people who do write "funny". Sure it is a cop out and probably cheating in the land of the bloggosphere but a girl has to start somewhere.
Therefore I thought I would write a list of my current favourite comedy moments - ones that stick in my head long after the initial viewing and still have the capacity to make me giggle months later.
In true reality TV style - these are in no particular order:
1 - Eddie Izzard - Dress to Kill:
"Squirrels always eat nuts with two hands, always two hands, "arararar", and occasionally, they stop and...."
[gasps, starts, then pauses and looks around, wide-eyed]
go, oh, uh, ah, as if they're going, "Did I leave the gas on? No! No, I'm a fucking squirrel!" And occasionally they go, "Fucking nuts! Fed up with them always... I long for a grapefruit." Yeah. So, that's very much like the army.
2 - Eddie: [about Stonehenge] And the Welsh were helping the druids carve the stones out of the very living mountain! "Fantastic! Building a henge, are we? That's a fantastic idea. It's a marvelous religion the druids have got, yes. A lot of white clothing, I like that." They'd smash out a huge stone and then they'd put tree trunks down to roll it along on..."Help you push 'em along, all right? It's not far, is it?" And the druids going, "Heave, everyone, heave, well done everyone. You're doing very well. You'll love it when you see it, I've seen some of the drawings already, it's very special." After 200 miles, "You fucking bastard! You never told us 200 miles! Two hundred miles in this day and age? I don't even know where I live now!... I wish the Christians would hurry up and get here!" And they set all the stones up and the druids are still tinkering around. "Ok, that stone and this one, can we swap them round?"
3 - Michael McIntyre "I’ve got a little baby, I made him…He doesn’t speak, he’s 2…He’s a slow learner, he’s only got 2 words…car and map…I’m slightly worried he’s trying to escape. If his next word is passport we are in serious trouble!”
4 - Blackadder "row row row your boat gently down the stream, belts off trousers down isn't life a scream WOOF!"
5 - Basil Fawlty in Fawlty Towers thrasing his car with a branch.
6 - Red Dwarf - "The water is only 3 feet deep. They can wade. That's why the animals are gonna have to be quite tall."
"Nice plan, Lister. Excellent plan! Brilliant plan, Lister! What about the sheep? What are you going to do, buy them water-wings? Fit them with stilts? Better still, you could cross-breed them with dolphins and have leaping mutton. Baa, splash, baa, splash."
- Lister and Rimmer discuss Lister’s plan to put a farm on Fiji, which is now 3ft under water
That is all I can muster right now but I hope to think of more entertaining things to write tomorrow.
Smoke me a kipper - I'll be back for breakfast!
